Review of 6 Hearts of Intimacy (Love Languages for the Sexual Relationship)

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About the Book:

Understand the way your spouse gives and receives love for greater passion in your marriage.

The 6 Hearts of Intimacy is a “Love Languages” for sex in marriage. Rather than focusing on techniques, it unlocks the secret to true sexual fulfillment by revealing the unique way each spouse gives and receives love. Various books describe the distinct ways in which people express and accept love, but this idea has never before been specifically applied to intimacy in marriage.

Marriage experts Bob and Cheryl Moeller present six biblically based and proven ways to enhance your relationship with your spouse as they describe the Romantic Heart, the Giving Heart, the Guardian Heart, the Companion Heart, the Worshiping Heart, and the Ecstatic Heart. They also expose the “counterfeit hearts” that are present in many people’s marriages, leaving their sexual relationship self-focused and empty.

Many couples spend a lifetime attempting to express their love yet fail to achieve true intimacy. Sensitively written with practical advice and humor, The 6 Hearts of Intimacy shows husbands and wives how to successfully resolve conflicts in their relationship and how to care daily for their spouse’s unique heart of sexual love.

Click here to purchase your copy!

About the Author


Bob and Cheryl Moeller are the cofounders of For Better, For Worse, For Keeps Ministries, which is dedicated to healing hearts and restoring marriages, especially in under-served communities. Each is the author or coauthor of a number of books. Bob is also the author of numerous articles.

The president of For Better, For Worse, For Keeps, Bob is a conference speaker, seminar presenter, and international guest preacher and teacher. He also hosts the television program, Marriage: For Better, For Worse, which airs on the Total Living Network and was awarded Best Television Teaching Show by the National Religious Broadcasters.

Cheryl serves as the ministry’s Director of Marketing, Social Media Coordinator, and Director of Prayer Ministry and is a speaker and literary agent. Bob and Cheryl have been married for almost 40 years and have six children and four grandchildren.

blog tour with CelebrateLit for 6 Hearts of Intimacy

Blog Stops:

Be sure to check out the other stops on the tour!

lighthouse Academy, September 15

A Baker’s Perspective, September 15

A Reader’s Brain, September 16

Bigreadersite, September 16

Living life free in Christ, September 17

Reading is my Super Power, September 17 (Interview)

Life Faith & Health, September 18

Power of Words, September 18 (Spotlight)

All-of-a-kind Mom, September 19

margaret kazmierczak, September 19 (Interview)

A Rup Life, September 20

Mary Hake, September 20

proud to be an autism mom, September 21

Artistic Nobody, September 22 (Spotlight)

Texas Book-aholic, September 23

Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations, September 24

Creating Romance, September 25

Janices book reviews, September 26

Carpe Diem, September 27

Reader’s Cozy Corner, September 28

Pause for Tales, September 28

Lila's Opinions:

I like to answer questions as a starting-off point. Here are my answers to these 10 questions.

1. How is the writing style or quality of the writing? The style of writing is very interesting for a nonfiction. I would say it's more conversational than usual. It flips between Bob's perspective as a man and Cheryl's perspective as a woman, but sometimes it's not always clear who is speaking in the informational parts. Whenever it says, “Bob says” or, “Cheryl says,” it's very helpful.

2. What do potential readers need to know most about the topic? The topic is about the sexual relationship in marriage, but it’s not a how-to. It focuses on how different people view physical intimacy and what they like most about it.

3. Was the material well-researched and logically organized? I was hoping for a bit more in the introduction. Was it taken directly from Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages and applied to the sexual relationship? Does each person identify more as one heart than any of the others, or should we be cultivating all six? Are we supposed to figure out our own heart language first or focus on our spouse's? Is our focus supposed to be on getting our own needs met or on meeting our spouse's? I didn't get a satisfying answer to any of these questions. On the other hand, I did enjoy that the chapters were each dedicated to one of the heart languages, so it was easy to flip back and forth for reference. I personally would have preferred less creative sub-headings within each chapter and more organizational sub-headings to help me figure out where this section fits in within the purpose of each chapter. But that's just my OCD organizational side coming out. ;)

4. Did you agree with the thesis? Because I wanted more out of the introduction, I'm having trouble nailing down the final thesis for the entire book. I would have to say it's the very general: “From our study of Scripture, we have come to identify Six Hearts of Intimacy. Each of these hearts is taken from passages in the Bible devoted to discussing married sexual love.” To me, this is so general as to not have anything to agree or disagree with. Did each heart have a biblical basis? Yes, they had a verse at the beginning of each one, though how it was applied was not always obvious.

5. Is there humor or personal narrative in the book? This nonfiction book is high in personal narrative. Each chapter begins with an illustration from a real relationship. And both Bob and Cheryl weigh in within each chapter with their own stories. Some of the stories have some humor in them. But not all the stories apply to the topic at hand.

6. What spiritual truths did you glean from the book? I gleaned several truths, the most important being to appreciate my husband’s unique perspective. Even though we focus more on different “hearts,” we also have similarities. Like love languages, God made each of us to appreciate different aspects of the marriage relationship.

7. For whom would you recommend this book? For anyone married who wants to increase their own satisfaction and who wants to satisfy their spouse more. I would only recommend for marriage counseling if read separately; singles beware that though not graphic, enough imaginative language is used (quoting Song of Solomon sometimes) that could lead to an increase in desire for sex.

8. Who will not like this book? Anyone not married or about to be should not read this book, as it would likely not only lack benefits but also would increase envy and possibly lust.

9. Why did you give it the star rating you did? The lack of cohesion brought it down from the 5 stars I would have given it. But on the whole, it's a very worthwhile read and I can honestly recommend it to all married couples.

10. Favorite quotes? I have so many! 

  • “Spiritual women are attracted to spiritual men—and vice versa. They find them almost irresistible, including sexually.” (p.51)

  • The analogy of sexual relationship between husband and wife and our relationship with Jesus: “Intimacy: In romance, God knits our hearts together intimate love, knowledge, and submission so we are no longer two, but one. In salvation, God knits our hearts together in intimate love, knowledge, and submission so we are no longer two, but one.” (p. 57)

  • “But our Heavenly Father has a wonderful remedy for the toxic chemistry of grudges and lingering bitterness. It's called mercy....Rather than keeping a score of offenses, a spouse with mercy chooses to wipe the slate clean over and over again.” (p.154)

(I received this book for free. The decision to write a review, as well as the opinions expressed in it, are all my own. I was not compensated for this review.)